Being a working mom in education is truly the ultimate balance. All day long, you exude love, kindness, and care to children who are not your own. You return to your actual home, and you hope to have some of that love, kindness, and care left in your emotional bank to dispense to your children. Unfortunately, the balancing act is not always balanced. Instead, you try to do it all with as few regrets as possible.
Take Things Off Their Plate
One of the greatest challenges is effective time management. Mornings are often a rush to get everyone ready, and evenings are filled with homework, dinner, and bedtime routines. Life happens—marriages, divorces, births, deaths, etc. Your job as a leader is to be there for your staff when life happens. Remember who they were when you interviewed them. Ask your staff the question, “What’s on your plate?” And then ask, “What can I take off your plate?” It’s a powerful question. Do whatever you can as a leader to lighten their load and make the lives of those you serve easier. We want to eliminate busy work and maximize systems so staff can stay focused on teaching and learning.
Don’t Miss the Moments
We don’t want to miss any moments with our children and we support our staff to do the same. Anytime a staff member asks to go be there for their children, the answer is always yes. Go. We will cover for you. We have to support each other because we don’t get those moments back. To determine if it’s one of those moments, ask yourself, “If I look back in 20 years, will I remember this?” If the answer is yes, do everything you can to be there. You will not miss that arrival, lunch duty, recess time, class period, or meeting in 20 years. You will remember that you were there for that special moment with your child. It’s an even better testament to school culture when staff automatically cover for each other. We have had staff say, “I am going to cover dismissal duty so this person can go to their child’s awards ceremony.” Whatever the moment is, build a school culture of grace and support so we don’t miss making those important memories with our children.
Self-Care is Key
The truth is, no one knows what is on your plate or that the plate you are caring for is really a platter. That is where self-care comes into play. Easier said than done, but as a working mom, you must take care of yourself. Amidst all the responsibilities, self-care often takes a backseat. It’s challenging to find time for hobbies, exercise, or even a quiet moment to relax. With a full-time job and family responsibilities, finding time for oneself can seem impossible. Ask yourself, what does self-care look like for me? It could be coffee in a quiet house or alone at work before anyone gets there. It could be 5-10 minutes of mindfulness during lunch or planning time. Schedule self-care by putting it in your calendar. Sometimes the commute to and from work is the only alone time we have. How can you use that time to fill your emotional tank? Maybe it’s noticing nature along the way, listening to a podcast, or simply enjoying the silence of the car ride. Whatever fills your soul, make it a priority. Only you can make yourself a priority, and you are worth it!
Share the Value of Your Work at Home
The working-mom guilt is real. Should I have stayed home with my kids? Am I missing moments? I struggled with these thoughts. Many working moms experience guilt, feeling like they are not giving enough attention to their children or their job. This guilt can be overwhelming and can affect their mental health. Instead of the idea that we need to “leave work at work,” we can share with our kids the value of the work we do each day. Working moms serve as role models for their children, demonstrating the importance of hard work, dedication, and resilience. They show their kids that it’s possible to pursue a career while being a loving and caring parent. Let them see the value in the work we do helping people, encouraging others, and educating the next generation in our schools.
Include Staff Family in Events
School events are a fantastic opportunity for staff families to participate and create lasting memories. We always welcome our staff to bring their families to our school events after school. It’s difficult to participate in night events at school, but it makes it a little easier when you have the option to bring your family. Plus, it’s a great opportunity for your students’ families to see your family and see you in a different role. Make it a family affair by attending or volunteering at school events together as a family.
Every Parent is Doing the Best They Know How
We all do the best we can at the time. Striking a balance between work and home life is a constant struggle. There are days when work demands more time and other days when family needs take precedence. Finding a middle ground where both can coexist peacefully is a continuous effort. The journey of a working mom is filled with both challenges and triumphs. While the path may be demanding, the rewards are immense. By embracing the challenges and celebrating the triumphs, working moms can find a fulfilling balance between their professional and personal lives. Always remember to take a minute to reflect on the growth you have made as an educator and as a mother.
Remember, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about doing your best and finding joy in the journey.
Discussion Questions
What are your challenges and successes as a working parent?
What does self-care look like for you?
How can you support your colleagues who are working parents?
How can you share the value of the work you do at school with your family at home?
About the Authors
Dr. Erin Alexander is a principal and co-host of the Messy Business Podcast. She began her career as a music teacher and has been a school administrator since 2012. She holds a bachelor's in music education from Elmhurst University, a Master's of Music Education from Northern Illinois University, a Master's in Administration from National Louis University, and a Doctorate in Educational Leadership from Liberty University. She is passionate about early childhood education and school culture. She grew up in central New York. She lives in the Chicago suburbs with her husband and two daughters.
LinkedIn: Dr. Erin Alexander
X: @drerinalex
Cathy Angelos is a principal and co-host of the Messy Business Podcast. She holds a bachelor's degree in Elementary Education and Psychology from Augustana College and a Master's in Education in School Psychology from Loyola University. Since 1993, she has been a School Psychologist, advocating for student mental health. After 14 years, she earned a second Master's in Administration from Concordia University. Cathy is deeply committed to early childhood and special education and lives in the Chicago suburbs with her husband as empty nesters.
LinkedIn: Catherine Angelos